After a painful week of pissing off UKTV and Most Haunted by exposing their so called Ghost (even though I did it a month ago, the episode only aired this past week so was new for everyone else, but old for me) I am back to my now world famous Ghost Adventures review, and I feel like one of these people.
"GAC arrive in sunny Los Angeles to investigate the infamous Silent Movie Theater on Fairfax Avenue. During their lockdown, Zak delves deep into a double-murder of the theater's owner and a candy counter girl, learns of the strange death of a silent film preservationist who lived at the theater, and even contacts deceased actor Douglas Fairbanks."
So this week we are in Los Angeles, California, and specifically at the infamous Silent Movie Theatre on Fairfax Avenue, why is it infamous I hear you ask? Well some people got murdered, and its a tourist attraction, which combined means we need to call in middle aged male virgins to investigate.
We start off with Zak "Don't call me Biggins" Bagans with his automated robotic voice over. Before cutting to the gang in the car.
The sun is out which can only mean you need to put your beanie hat on to cover up your terrible dye job and dodgy hair implants.
We hear the story of the Silent Movie Theater and it really is very interesting, and I would happily advise everyone to look it up and read about the history.
Why is it that all the people who run these locations regardless of if on Ghost Adventures of Most Haunted, always look weird as hell. Anyway we quickly meet Drew Foster, followed by some really terrible acting by Zak, in an attempt to replicate some silent movie comedy. They then cram into the smallest place they can to continue the awkwardness, all of which Drew is absolutely loving, I am guessing this is the most human contact he has had in years.
I am sure there is some penetration in this scene, but from who to who will forever remain a mystery.
I'm really enjoying Drew Foster and how awkward he is making Biggins feel. Even if the Ghost Adventures edit has totally stitched Drew up, I still think he is already the star of the episode. I would rather watch him each week than Zak and the Virgins.
We now cut to a scene "in between" their interviews, and Mike, their really really camp audio guy has seen a ghost! And by ghost I mean his own shadow.
He is very much like Cameron Tucker from Modern Family, both in looks and mannerisms. Very funny. And even Zak makes a reference to ghosts being "in the closet." I will leave that right there I think.
Zak brings out that really loud spirit box thingy, and asks a question, and a voice can be heard saying "Ess", which Zak decides is "Yes". Quick reminder that any such things are evidentially worthless, and even Most Haunted have stated they don't use such equipment since they are unreliable and can pick up radio waves.
They then film a "Heat Signature" on the leather chair which "no one" was sitting on.
Now lets just say if you wanted to fake such a thing it would be incredibly easy, and since they have no footage of the chair before, during and after, this evidence is worthless and sadly typical of the lack of any kind of scientific approach by this bunch of amateurs.
We are then introduced to "World Renowned" Psychics, Michael and Marti Parry. So world renowned in fact that I have never heard of them, and psychics are kind of my thing in case you didn't know.
They are blindfolded for some reason, I am guessing to convince the gullible viewers that they don't know where they are. Now there are lots of theatres in LA as Zak informs us, and since this theatre is famous for a murder, and has had many a ghost group investigate it previously and Michael and Marti Parry are not only from LA, but also according to their site have worked with pretty much every big name Ghost Hunting group, the idea that they have never been here before or wouldn't know its history is laughable considering the jobs they are in.
Their website averages only 1000 visitors per month since its inception in 2009, to put that into some kind of perspective, this article I am writing right now, will have twice that by this time tomorrow if not sooner. So to call them World Renowned clearly doesn't equate to popularity.
I quickly checked my archives and we have never covered them, and there isn't really much about them of interest online either. So guessing they came on the show for free or on the cheap.
Marti Parry likes to draw the spirits and Michael Parry is gonna try and communicate with his mind to the spirits. "Coincidentally" Michael sits in the exact spot that they saw the "ghost" sit the night before.
No, not that Marti.
Michael already claims he is speaking to a ghost, and that the ghost said he usually sits there. It is almost as if Michael had watched the footage from the night before. Michael claims the ghost is saying that is his spot on the settee.
Not quite but close enough I guess.
Now the settee is right in the middle of the theatre at the front, psychologically it is the spot everyone is most drawn too, front and centre is the best spot in any theatre, and when all the chairs behind are typical theatre chairs and here is this big comfy sofa, of course you will be drawn to it. So even if this isn't obviously a set up, you can still explain it through a likely coincidence.
Literally the best seat in the house, also note that the cameras and cameramen were already moving to that position to film, so with Michael following them, it only makes sense for him to sit in the best position for them to film him. Sorry guys but not buying any of this ghost chair nonsense.
We then hear a strange sound which is blatantly done by Marti who is conveniently covering her mouth with her clip board.
We cut to the other fake psychic who states that he is getting the name "Douglas Fairbanks" which totally exposes the fact he knows exactly where he is, which theatre, prior research and all that.
He could have at least tried to ham it up a bit, gone with a "D sounding name", or struggled with the surname, saying it wrong etc, but nope, he just comes straight out with it.
Michael tells Zak that the spirit has gotten inside him.
Zak says that he feels like he needs to run, so he does, when he comes back Michael proudly shows that he wrote down the word "Legs" as proof that the spirit was communicating with him, of course we see this "Legs" written not before Zak said he wanted to run, but after, written down away from the camera.
Zak is amazed, because Zak is an idiot, and Zak has no idea how psychics want to scam you.
Even funnier we actually get to see what Michael wrote on his pad.
Michael states confidently that it says "Run Legs"
Another classic trick of the fake psychic, scribble something eligible, and then make it fit after the event. Again we did not see the point this was written down as no camera was on him.
If you think this is worthy evidence, then I have some great time share to sell you in Morocco, just drop me a message with your credit card number and we can chat!
Zak informs Marti and Michael that they are in the Silent Movie Theatre, they do their best "Are we really, I had no idea" faces.
We next get to see the drawings by Marti.
Not a bad drawing I guess, but if you took the cigarette away that he was famous for smoking, does it really look like him?
Who else do you think it looks like? Leave your suggests in the comments section with any link to an image.
Either way this all stinks, Michael comes out with the exact name, no messing about, and Marti draws a male smoking a cigarette that looks basically like him.
Clearly this is not the first time they have visited this location, nor the first time they have researched the location either.
Finally they get rid of the two fake psychics and start the investigation.
"OMG There is a little person on his shoulder!"
Hahaha, I did laugh out loud at this bit.
I think I mentioned this in a previous review, but they are filming in the dark, they are using face/body detection type software, which is unreliable in full light, never mind in the dark. It is designed to always look for figures/faces regardless of if any are really there. This whole scene is 100% unscientific and rather laughable. Apparently spirits are now 1 and a half foot tall too.
It has become really difficult for me to keep interested in the show now, when it is so obviously faked, and played off as real it annoys me so much I just want to turn off. Clearly the two psychics were fake, no doubt about that. Zak is probably the least educated person I have ever seen on any paranormal TV show when it comes to the genre. His idiocy knows no bounds.
Although Most Haunted will fake things, they do so in more of a naive manner, its all faked I get that, but Ghost Adventures biggest problem is that it is over the top fake. And I can only repeat myself so many times.
And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse....
Yes its an orb. A piece of dust close to the lens out of the focal point of the camera is then mentioned by Zak. The fact that he mentions this at all must tell you all he is either a complete idiot, or he thinks his fans are idiots.
Sorry to say but I just fast forwarded through the rest of the episode, there was a noise of a chair being pushed up, they got that "Person of restricted growth" spirit again, some worthless EVPs, and some spirit box crap.
I think this episode was the worst I have ever seen for such obvious fakery.
And this might be the final episode I review cause it was just so bad.
If you watched it and disagree with me please leave a comment below.
By Jon Donnis
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By Jon Donnis
Watch this episode on Amazon.com by clicking the link below.
Watch this episode on Amazon.com by clicking the link below.