Next we have the transcript, the normal formatted text is the words of Charley, comments in brackets are those of the sitter, and the comments on bold are my own.
Thanks to Meercat for the transcript:
This is a reading for a few people and er Im trying this out you know, er, to prove to you people of what abilities Ive got you know and we'll see how it goes you know. Anyway, we'll start with this gentleman here, erm. Im picking up a er, er er a mother figure here right I feel it a great grandmother yeah, its your mothers nan, I know you dont know this is whos coming through at the moment. She was a very sort of timid woman erm, and you have got a lot of her in you, you got a lot of you in her, you know,her personality.
Ok we have started, first thing to notice is that Charles has decided to pick on a great grandmother, someone who without doubt would have been dead along time, and that the sitter is unlikely to have known.
Charles also fills in the reading with a very strange comment about her having a lot of him in her, and a lot of her in him, what does this actually mean?
And youve also, its your mum its your mum to a T as well.
So now it is his mum who is like the G'Grandmother? Make your mind up Charles, so far all we have is a lot of filller and no real substance
And why they talking about it is to your mum, they know what you want to hear but we'll come to that in a minute.
Why not come to it now? Charles has a very annoying knack of rambling on and on without actually saying anything.
Erm, but your mum at the moment you know she sort of, er what is it, you know, you know she worries a lot dont you (yeah) yeah, erm she worries she worries in a sense like that she creates worries there not really worries but she creates worries she assumes this and that is gonna happen yeah (yeah) but she doesnt erm, know its gonna happen and when usually it dont even happen that way anyway. (yeah). And shes doing her own head in and she shes what you call a a worry creator they're not even worries. you know your mums like that anyway dont you (yeah I do yeah).
Charles seriously expects us to accept this as evidence, in around 130 words, Charles has told us that the sitters mum likes to worry! I could and just did say the same thing in 5 words! but then I am not being paid by the hour like Charles is.
Erm, apart from that shes sound in every other way. but erm, the hospital, not too long ago she was at the hospital (erm) theres something about going to the hospital anyway, it doesn't matter but if you ask your mum you'll probably know, you probably dont know, but er they mention the hospital, thats erm, er, its probably er time for a check up to do with some check up that shes on, a time before you know what I mean (Yeah I do) They not telling me what it is, but erm, just ask your mum. Erm.
More rambling, and again he says a lot without actually saying anything. Something incredibly vague about going to the hospital? Come on Charley you claim to be speaking to the dead, so why can't you just be clear?
Apart from that, er your Dad, erm, your dad works very hard, or something, too hard, (yeah thats right yeah)
Notice the confirmation by the sitter, this now gives Charleys the opportunity to enhance his original statement
yeah, he is a work fanatic and he never gives in, he always on the go and this that and the other and he never even stops to have a breather, he's always up out and out you go.
As I said, because of the confirmation from the sitter, Charles expands on his original statement.
And he never sits still, hes always fidgeting and, you know what I mean, hes that type of person and hes been like that all his life, (yeah, yeah) but er hes not getting any younger you see
Well we already established the father likes to work, so it is common sense that he is not gonna be a sit about, relaxing type of guy.
I also love the comment about the father not getting any younger!
Classic line! In fact I would love to hear a psychic make a comment along the lines of "Your dad he is getting younger every day, never been as healthy and fit in his life"
and these up here, they want you to mention it to your dad that he needs to learn to slow down cause when he gets older he will find it very hard when he gets to a stage where he cant rush around like that anymore, hes all right now, hes not old, but he needs to, erm, learn to slow down, and you know yourself, he never does. (no...).
More rambling from Charles, just repeating himself over and over to make the reading last longer. Simply stating the obvious, and remember this all comes from the original confirmation from the sitter about the father working hard, if the sitter had not replied in such a manner, the next few minutes of Charles reading would never have happened.
He's always rushing around, And who takes after him? You do dont you? (yeah)
Here is some more of that cold reading that Charles claims he does not do, he asks the sitter a question, and the sitter replies in the confirmatory manner, I wonder if Charles will now use this information that the sitter has provided and run with it, if he does then this is pure unadulterated cold reading
You can't sit still. you know what I mean.
Of course he knows what he means, the sitter just told Charles!
But then again, youre a younger than him, but now you've heard this it doesnt pay to be rushing around.
Well if the sitter was older than his dad i would be amazed!
As you get older it can pay to, you know it can lead to bad nerves, to trying to settle down or even going to sleep when youre older. It'll all backfire on you like, your dad.
Hang on, when has it been established that this lifestyle has backfired on his dad?
I mean you dads alright sleeping cause with him rushing around, but, with your dad rushing here there and everywhere he does actually miss other details and he forgets, "Oh love I forgot about that yeah, er you know i'll, i'll ", you know what I mean and hes like that isnt he (he is like that yeah) but thats cause hes rushing and hes too fast up here. he needs to slow down cause he will have problems when he's older.
So now Charles in contradicting himself, he has previously stated that all this work had backfired on the dad, yet now he is saying it will affect him in the future, basically what Charles is doing is covering all of his bases, making sure that whatever he says he will probably be right
Apart from that your dads dead sound and hes a very good man and he'll help anyone in need you know and your like him, and you are a lot like him and youve been told your like him.
Notice how EVERYTHING in the above paragraph, Charles only knew AFTER the sitter had told him. This is classic cold reading, something Charles claims he does not do.
And er but you have got a lot more than your mum in you what you have with him. you know, Cause your mum, the shyness, er you, your mum, is like that, she has a thing that, she does have a phobia about people, you dont have that phobia but you do.
My favourite of all of Charles ramblings, just read it again, might take you a few times to even vaguely understand it, but the last line is the best.
"You dont have that phobia, but you do"
WHAT THE HELL! lol.
Charles is that really proof that you are speaking to the dead.
Without doubt one of the most ridiculous things ever to come out of a psychics mouth ever.
"Hey Meercat, you dont like cheese, but you do"
You know what Im on about (yeah)
Amazingly the sitter claims to have understood that! Or could it be that the sitter has been so confused with all the rambling that he is now just blindly agreeing in the hope it will lead to a sooner end to the reading
And this phobia is sort of like if you come to contact with someone erm even a girl for instance, more so with girls like, but er, even when you met Danny *points towards camera* you wouldnt have erm you know approached Danny cause he was the type to approach you.
This now points towards a bit of hot reading, or even body language reading, Charles has been able to watch the sitter and how he has interacted with people since coming in for the reading. He now tries to pass off this knowledge as psychic, when clearly it is not.
It is not hard to spot if someone is a bit shy around people
And he broke the ice if you know what I mean. (yeah) and you love people like that, because you wouldnt even have a mate now, you wouldnt even have mates if people didnt do that.
Charley-boy is really sticking the knife into this poor mans back, way to build up the confidence Charley
Its this thing, the shyness in you that you dont like, you couldnt be like your mate Danny you know what I mean, er, you know what Im saying (yeah I do know what your saying). You havnt got that in you, but er, just bite your tongue and do it you know what I mean, but, your mum was like that when she was younger, but, you know, thats where youre like your mum, that shyness, and that bit of phobia, of having the bottle to talk to someone.
Again more rambling by Charles, based on what he knows purely through observation
I mean when your Dad, and you can ask your mum and dad, when your dad first approached your mum er years ago like when they first met, and all that, your mum nearly had a heart attack.
We now have the problem where the sitter cannot in fact confirm or deny what Charles is saying, so the sitter must "take that with him" and ask others, of course by then Charles is long gone, the reading has been paid for, and there is no recourse, a classic technique used by mediums as a way to further enhance the reading.
If the person goes away and asks about the comment and the psychic was wrong, then "oh well he was wrong", if the psychic was right, this further convinces the sitter, it is a no lose situation for the psychic, which is why this technique of going away with something is used so often.
you know, and er, you know, she, er, you know, but he grew on her but it took a long time for your mum to get that bottle to actually even trust your dad, you know what I mean (yeah)
Although a confirmationary "yeah" he is in fact only answering Charles question about "knowing what he means" again another technique used by psychics to make the reading seem more real.
Some psychics also use the "do you understand what i am saying" sentence. You may understand the psychic, but not agree with what he is saying, but as you may have been asked to only answer yes or no, you answer yes.
Which in your case you know, being a male like, you know erm , I mean, you went, you went out with a girl, you've been out with a girl havnt you yeah? (yeah)
Again Charles is asking a question here, which the sitter gives an answer to, next Charles will expand
and this girl, erm, I dont mean to ask you questions like did you go out with a girl, I mean I should tell you you go out with a girl its just the way it comes out, dont worry about it, erm, its just for these sceptic people, *point at camera* you know what I mean.
Are you pointing at us Charles? If so you are making a fool of yourself, and are in fact proving your lack of psychic ability with your inane rambling.
Erm, but, these, erm, .... when you were going out with her, theres always a thing in the back of your mind, and youve never really been dirtied on, you know what I mean, (yeah) but, you, with that girl you were thinking, she's with someone else, or you know, the that sense of not trusting a bird, you know.
Again more rambling, remember that the sitter was the one that told Charles he had been out with a girl, and not the other way, although you would expect most men at the age of the sitter to have gone out with a girl.
You probably heard so many stuff off people you know, of being dishonest and all that, you know what I mean, but its probably backfired on you and you dont know how to trust any bird. But these girls, that girl especially, erm, she was sound in her own way but she was a little kid. she, she was, was too immature for your liking, you were, usually girls grow up faster than lads, you know what I mean, but in this case it was the other way round, you know, she was very immature where as you were mature, you know, and er, you know but, thats why it didnt work out really, because she was, she was right, and she was a bit of a flirter, you know, and you did find her out yeah (yeah) you know but, one thing and another, you know, and, because that did happen, you have got 'cause youve had this thing that she was a bit of a flirter, erm, its sticks here and now you dont, its getting worser this not trusting birds now, you know, cause youve sort of been rejected, the worsest thing that can happen to somebody,
More rambling by Charles here, he is just telling the sitter what he wants to here about any random woman who has rejected him in the past. Pure filler here by Charles
but theres always someone out there and theyre assuring you now, your great great granny this is, right, If you talk you your mum about your great granny, erm, she was a very, arrogant, very, really old fashioned, well should would be cause she was born in the 1800's you know,
LOL I think Charles actually realises here how bloody obvious some of what he is saying is, someone from the 1800's who was old fashioned. WOW!
erm very old fashioned and really arrogant and she wouldnt mess about, you know, and she'd even hit men before today, you know, and erm, your mum, she was that type of person, very, very big and, er, really broad woman, really, you'd class her as a man from the back, you know what I mean, (yeah) and she could handle herself good style with, you know what I mean (yeah, yeah) ask your mum anyway, its a bit er.
Again hard for the sitter to really verify any of this due to the fact it is unlikely he even knew his G'Grandmother, so Charles is very much on safe ground here
Your mum, your mums not really sceptic about life after death cause she does talk, erm, you know, er, to people, or wish upon a star or what whatever you want but she does believe that the is a heaven you know (yeah thats right yeah).
I would say that most people of that generation would have some belief in heaven, Charles is just vague enough here that he has a pretty good chance of being at least partly right, which he was
Whereas your Dads like you, you know what I mean, which most men are more sceptic usually than women.
Again Charles is pointing out again the obvious, at least he is kind of admitting it too
Erm, but apart from that theyre reassuring you that erm, theres someone called Jane, alright, Jane, Janet, erm, we'll get it right, Jane. But whats the Janet?
Here we go back into cold reading territories, notice how he ends with the question "Whats the Janet"
Well, bare these names, Jane, Janet. You knows J's, Jane, remember Jane and remember Janet right. Now why they give you these because in the near future you will come across these names right, and these'll be very compatible for you, right, like your soul mate yeah you know what I mean (yeah) you cant have two soul mates but you can, because theyre really compatible for you and one of them , Jane, is on your wavelength and got your sort of interests and she very, erm, easy going, a bit on the quiet side but she's got a bit of bottle, you know what Im saying, (yeah) which you havnt got a lot of bottle so, she has, you know what I mean (yeah), which you need someone with a bit of bottle you know what I mean. Erm. so remember that, and erm, why, why theyre given you these names is because you cant be a mind reader getting a girl can you and er,
So noticing the lack of facial acknowledgement on the sitter, Charles moves this imaginary character to the future, which of course is safe as it cant be denied. Pure cold reading again by Charles
even your mate Danny has told you about er, you know going to a club or getting a bird, you know, but you wont meet these birds like that youll meet 'em or *unknown word/s* er, er, er a place where you wouldnt even thought youd meet them you know what Im saying, through someone else and it wont be Danny.
Hang on, isn't Danny the cameraman, this is all starting to sound a bit strange, at first I thought Charles was just using Danny as an example before, but now it seems that Danny is in fact friends with the sitter which is interesting.
I wonder what Charles connection to the sitter is too? Very suspicious in my opinion
You know, erm, but it'll work out for you but once you hear them names, trust them ok because they will not do the dirty on you, because one of them, er ,J-Jane, shes had erm, it done to her shes actually been, her fellas been unfaithful to her, er, quite a few times, and shes just had enough and shes on her own now and shes been on her own about six months, and shes the same age as you and everything, and er, so you'll get on dead fine with her, yeah (yeah)
Well thats great, this Jane is pretty much described as an emotional wreck, had the dirty done on her, and so on. Maybe the sitter should avoid jane, and try and find someone without a load of emotional baggage
erm and I know your a bit sceptic and this that and the other, but, when you come across, you, you, when these people do meet up with you , which they will, erm, you know, you'll believe in life after death a lot more when that happens, even when, you know, anyway just remember that.
Well if the sitter wasn't a sceptic before this reading, he should be now, after what was without doubt the worst reading I have read in a long long time.
and er, we cant have it too long we'll be running out, we wont have any tape left for this lady. *points to person off camera* erm, but theres, er theres er I dont know what this is, they showing me a tiger for some reason I dont know what why that is, a lion, theyre showing me a lion you know, that sort of stuff, you. You know why Im getting that? A lion, tiger? (Maybe to do with martial arts that I do)
A lion/tiger? What doe sthat have to do with martial arts? I wonder if when Charles came into the house, he saw a martial arts costume with a tiger/lion logo on it?
Oh Yeah! (unknown word/s) Oh anyway but , it could be, dont worry about it.
Don't worry we wont worry about it
Erm, but before they go they want to say erm....... no they dont, thats all they got to say to you anyway
Classic line there
er thats thats all Im getting them telling me to go away, they told me to go over hear now. erm but mention all them things to your mum ( I will do yeah).
*to camera* Alright, put it off a minute.
Camera is now off, I wonder what is going on while the camera is off?
Er, well we havnt finished yet, just finishing off, *mutters*, erm, what your, what your great granny was saying here shes saying why she come back like that to say you know er, that a Jane and Janet, not your mums name, right, why she comes back, because, you do have this thing in you which you right, which you always, everyone questions something, but, you even, you, you look for, youre a fault finder you are you know what I mean (yeah) and you look for faults in other people, (yeah) and, you, you look for too much detail in other people instead of just going with the flow, you know what Im saying (yeah yeah) and this is why she come over back the way she did to tell you because you'd even question them but its only a point that you do it with too many people, (yeah) you know and Danny knows what Im on about as well and you do have this thing of picking faults out in people, you know, and theyre telling you to stop doing it, nobodys perfect, not even you. Alright. We'll leave it at that.
I thought the spirits were telling him to go away? Yet he comes back with another rambling piece of rubbish.
I am sorry Charles, but I witnessed no evidence of survival in that reading. I did witness cold reading though.
In fact I challenge any believer to watch that video and tell me they were convinced, it really was that bad.
Oh well, that was an hour of my life wasted.
But if it helps people see through this man then maybe it was worth it.
By Jon Donnis