1 February 2019

REVIEW: Most Haunted - Hodroyd Hall Pt 1 - Airdate 01/02/2019


Imagine if you went on your podcast and you reported news about Most Haunted that you got from a parody twitter account with a few hundred followers, who in turn copied that news from BadPsychics, would that make you incompetent or pathetic? Just curious.

Also in unrelated news I am willing to go on ANY believer or pro psychic PodCast to be interviewed or just to give my opinion. You only need to ask. Trust me I am PodCast Gold!

And with that let's take a look at some sticky, dirty, nasty blurbage from those stuck up nerds at UKTV.

Blurb
"Hodroyd Hall - an all-but-deserted manor house that boasts murder, death and intrigue among its history - becomes the setting for one of the most intriguing investigations to date."

First thing you will notice in the title of this review is that this is another multi-part episode, this time it is 1 of 3. Yes 3 episodes. Basically that means 3 times the money for a 3rd of the effort.


Yvette is showing off shoulders! YVETTE IS SHOWING OFF SHOULDERS!
The end is nigh, the end is nigh, all run away, the end is nigh.......


What a refreshing change to see Yvette in her summer clothes, although I expect she will don a hoody the moment Glen is around, he aint getting his hands on her naked shoulders, even with a thin layer of material to protect her. For a woman in her 50s, Yvette has a good figure, good for her. No jokes about the turn ups please, this isn't 1996.

Tonight they are in the Yorkshire dales at a place called Hodroyd Hall which according to Yvette is teeming with ghosts. (Spoiler: They don't find any ghosts)


She actually first wore this top a couple of years ago on This Morning.

Who needs Mel Crump when you have an over 50s Yvette Fielding in tight high waist jeans looking half her age?


As soon as Glen arrives Yvette quickly covers up. And now Glen is in a mood and refusing to even look at Yvette. He even wore his smartest sports casual jacket as he was hoping tonight would be the night. Oh well.

Yvette is talking about the place, and we have Ghost Monks, Nuns, Children, you name it this place has it all.

We are told the story of a maid who was pushed into a fireplace by someone and killed, and despite there being no proof of this, we are are being primed to believe that there will be a ghost maid on the show later on.


Glen has calmed down now, and he is doing his best chat up/lean pose. This is the one he gets all the ladies with.

The walk round is complete and the investigation begins.
I have mentioned before a number of times that episodes in general are filmed in a few hours. This idea that they are spending an whole night at a location is a lie. They arrive, they eat, chat, set up, film for a few hours, then leave. For a 3 episode run they need no more than 2 hours and 15 minutes of footage, and keep in mind they can film different people at the same time. So even a 3 episode investigation can be filmed in just over a couple of hours.

Anyway they switch night vision on and almost immediately something is thrown OFF CAMERA as they are leaving the room, Yvette Fielding screams and we have a little piece of brass or copper that has been thrown.


Just a reminder, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that is thrown OFF CAMERA is NOT a ghost.
It is scientific fact that ghosts do not throw things unless a camera is filming them.

I re-watched the footage, and it would be Karl who chucked this, he was last as they left and he waited till the second camera was filming away from him. This will be a common trend throughout the episode.

It is in this segment that we get our first look at the returning Rick Fielding, (The brother of Yvette) he left the show after Series 4, so it has been a long time since he has appeared.

So in this new series we have had Yvette's daughter and now her Brother. Both working for free. They really must be skint.

Even Watson hasn't appeared yet.

I really cant remember if Rick was credible or not, anyone remember if he used to throw stuff when he last appeared.


Notice the huge light on the camera, just in case you thought they were really in the dark.

There is more pointless talking and then another bit of pipe is thrown, OFF CAMERA, and just behind Karl again. Not seen Stuart yet? Maybe they gave him the night off?


So again I know I repeat myself way too often, but real investigators, after the first thing was thrown, they would place cameras in all corners and cover 100% of the room. If you don't have enough proper cameras, you can use smartphones, of which everyone has.

Instead on Most Haunted they just keep on going, no controls, no camera coverage. Just the same old sillyness, and that is how you know the show is 100% faked. Because if it was real, what I suggested, is the first thing they would do every time.

We then get a hilarious scene as Yvette starts to look for Fred who has done a runner, and Yvette just repeatedly shouts FRED, FRED, FRED etc.

It reminded me of this.



They find Fred and he says he had to leave as he suddenly felt overcome with nausea.

I wonder if he tried to do that same trick he did once before whereby he pretended to pass out, but then no one bothered to find him, or when Yvette did find him, she never had the camera on her, so it was a pointless stunt. Also if you remember when he tried that before, his own camera exposed the whole thing as fake, which we showed, so that would be why he never had a camera on him this time.

Back to the investigation, and there is a sound of something being thrown OFF CAMERA, sounded like coins, they investigate, then the sound again and Yvette finds an old one penny.


Another coin is thrown OFF CAMERA, and again it is from behind Karl. So Karl is definitely the one throwing the coins, and remember we caught him doing this once before.

And another coin, again OFF CAMERA and right by Karl.

I wonder if these are the exact same pennies he threw in a previous episode?

Someone needs to check Karl's pockets.
Worth noting that Glen doesn't appear to be in this scene at all.

And more coins thrown, OFF CAMERA.

Getting a bit silly now.

"I can barely hear it with me ears" - Beardy Bloke.

They seem to have moved on from the coins now, probably since Karl doesn't have any left and Yvette has pocked them all. So now we get the odd groan and tapping and so on. Usual rubbish.

Glen has re-appeared, and he seems to be in a different location with Beardy.
No coins for them, just really faint taps that could be anything.

Back with the gang, and more coins and bits are thrown, again OFF CAMERA, and from Karl's area.
No point commenting on this, you get the idea.

Thankfully just over 10 minutes left.

Glen, Fred and someone else have now gone down to the cellar, and now it is Fred who is throwing coins OFF CAMERA.

A real skeptic would instantly check everyone's pockets.

As they look around on the floor like idiots, do any of you remember when Yvette Fielding claimed that One Direction star Harry Styles sent her sex texts and wanted to have an affair with her, and then when she got called out on the claims she quickly backtracked and denied it all. If you don't remember this, the story can be read here.

https://www.sofeminine.co.uk/news-celebrities/yvette-fielding-in-hiding-after-harry-styles-text-pest-allegations-s630309.html

More coins are being thrown OFF CAMERA.

Glen finds one and says the immortal line
"It's heads up, what are the chances?"

Well Glen, I can tell you right now, it is literally has a 50% chance of being heads up.

Just like the earlier segment of Karl throwing coins, now Fred is throwing them. And it just goes on for so long and is way too obvious.

And yes a few of them are landing heads up, but please note we NEVER see any of the coins thrown, it is all off camera, so there is nothing stopping Fred or anyone placing the coins heads up on the floor, and throwing something else to make the noise.


Clearly Rick hasn't forgot how to film himself on a ghost hunt.

And after a few more coins, the episode ends on a total anticlimax.

We get some preview footage of the next episode and that is it.

This was a bad episode, like really bad. The only thing that happened was Karl and Fred chucking coins OFF CAMERA, and Karl chucking some brass pipe bits at the start, that is it. Nothing else happened, what a complete and utter waste of my time.

So with that, for the complete lack of effort, I am giving the episode a MINUS 2 out of 10.

One of the worst episodes they have ever aired.

Review by Jon Donnis

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By Jon Donnis

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Don,I just love your reviews of most haunted as they really make me laugh. I used to watch the programme and give them the benefit of the doubt but since they have been outed I ├žant take them seriously. If I see you have reviewed an episode then I purposely watch it because I know that I shall be much amused. For that I thank you for always cheering up my day

L Simon said...

Probably not worth stating, but Karl chucked the first small piece of pipe behind him. He waits until the other camera is filming in the opposite direction, so essentially we have both cameras showing the exact same footage. In Karl’s world this is perfect use of a split screen: both cameras pointing away from the “phenomena". This happy coincidence will continue throughout the entire episode.

Why Is Karl filming a wall when the second piece of pipe is thrown? He is in conversation with Rick, but instead of filming him, he rudely points the camera into the corner of the room! This is a very suspicious scene. How does Yvette go straight to the pipe despite the fact that she was not in the room and the floor is strewn with debris?

Karl is now dropping coins (shh)! It is clearer to see with the second coin. He takes up one of his usual position, at the far side of the room away from the second camera, with lots of people milling about in between. He waits until Yvette turns away from him, then takes a step forward, which means he is now hidden from view behind Rick. At this exact point the coin is dropped; and if you watch Yvette she looks straight at Karl’s feet when she hears the clink. So Karl simply dropped it from his left hand. The telling thing here is that despite Karl clearly filming, we don't get to see a split screen showing his footage. Very strange!

We do get a split screen for the third thrown coin, but again it is useless. The coin is thrown right before Karl appears in shot, he simply throws it back into the room he has just exited. This “just arriving in shot” has become one of Karl’s standard ploys, but sometimes it is clumsily executed, as seen when he appears to jump guiltily into shot from the direction of a loud crash.

A fourth coin dropped now and again both cameras are filming in the same direction. Again it is thrown behind Karl, no one is ever behind Karl when these things happen.

Right before the first clump of coins crashes to the floor you can see Karl’s head jerk slightly to the left while at the same time his camera moves forward, which are caused by him throwing the coins behind Yvette, I suspect so she doesn’t lose any of his personal collection. For his encore second clump of coins, Karl makes sure that everybody is looking on the floor for the first lot, he then turns the camera away from the corridor they have just entered through, then chucks the coins down there. He goes to investigate, waits for Rick to arrive, then throws some more coins back the way he came.

When the group finally begin to leave the cellar by the stairwell, you can hear someone (Karl) gather up the coins in their hand before throwing them. Another pointless split screen here but this time the second camera (i.e., not Karl’s) actually filming in the direction where the coins will land moments later! But wait, just as Karl passes by the camera it is turned around, but instead of filming Karl’s back, as you would expect when everybody is meant to be leaving by the stairwell, It ends up pointing down the corridor in the opposite direction to where, at this precise moment, the coins begin falling. How unlucky are Most Haunted?

The last ten minutes is just a subdued reimagining of the first thirty, except it seems to be Fred who is the one chucking the coins about.

So an episode full of split screen footage, all of which useless, because either both cameras were filming practically the same scene from the same direction, or neither camera was filming in the direction where the “phenomena” occurred. However, there were a couple of situations when one of the cameras was filming in the right direction, but we didn't get to see that footage. Instead, we just got the footage from the camera that shot nothing. Is anyone else seeing a pattern here?

Unknown said...

Oh, thanks for this! Really made me giggle. I forget that other people watch the show. I definitely watch it knowing that it's largely staged, just like watching a horror film - it's not real, but entertaining enough as it is still creepy!

It is worth saying that, when they introduce each new location, they film slamming doors, moving dolls, etc. - further proof that the fake phenomena. If they're willing to fake things for the dramatic opening, they would for the real thing (clearly). Also, whenever there is a live episode, we are introduced to MORE people who aren't usually shown - so whenever they say "everyone's accounted for", they are not, as plenty more crew members are just never shown on camera.

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