If 2019 hadn't started off bad enough, it gets even worse with the launch of a new season of Most Haunted (And possibly the last to air on REALLY, I hear that UKTV don't want to pay for any more episodes after this run, and Antix will take the series to be an online only show)
Anyway lets jump right into the cesspool of debauchery with some filthy blurb.
"The team investigates Eden Camp. There are strange noises and something that wants to separate the team. Can they stay for the duration or will it prove too much?"
Bizarrely it seems like Yvette Fielding has her eye on the Arsenal job since Arsene Wenger has left the club. I wonder what Unai Emery will have to say about that.
We are introduced to a new suspicious team member called Mary.
Someone who looks incredibly like Yvette. Yes it is her daughter.
And just notice how Glen is looking at the new younger, fitter, stronger version of Yvette! While also holding his hands over his groin. This will not end well!
Glen is in super show off mode trying to impress new younger Yvette, and we cut to a clip of them listening to groans he recorded earlier in private. I wonder what those groans could possibly be?
How funny would it be if New Yvette (Her official new name) is better than old Yvette.
We get a quick history lesson and then despite it being very light outside we have the black and white filters on and they are walking about outside and then into the Museum.
Keep in mind this Museum has CCTV, that covers all areas. Will we see the footage from the CCTV? No of course we wont, don't be silly.
Karl has farted and old Yvette is forced to cover her face. Makes a change for it not to be Yvette.
Yvette is already talking to the German ghosts and has them tapping answers out.
1 for yes 2 for no, 3 for Nein
(The preceding joke was supplied by Pete West @petewest1966)
"Do you know you are dead, 2 for yes, 1 for no?" - Yvette Fielding.
Beardy guy is claiming the floor is moving, (it is not).
They all have very squeeky shoes on which is making a racket on the smooth floors.
Glen is staying very close to New Yvette, definitely wants to keep her safe.
They have heard some noises, yet they have admitted that there is a live cat at the premises. No sign of Watson sadly. But I am guessing New Yvette is the new shiny toy for the group, and poor Watson has been relegated.
Karl has heard footsteps, yet the outside security light had not come on, and only came on when Karl came outside. Therefore these censors cannot detect ghosts. Lets keep that in mind in case they try to use that in the future.
"Can you talk to us using your voice" - Yvette Fielding
Keep in mind that despite them claiming this is "As Live" it will actually have retakes and edits
Yvette is getting Glen to whistle to the ghosts. I wonder, if there are German ghosts present, how will they understand Yvette?
The girls watching the cams have seen something, most likely it is just a bit of fluff near the lens. We don't get any replays since we are supposedly "As Live"
New Yvette hasn't done much yet, why not give her a camera and let her do some talking.
Karl says that it is a bit smoky in the one area they are in, but admits it is a museum affect. But they should all be off. But the fact there are effects available makes things more interesting.
The smoke machine is clearly on and working, but Karl keeps claiming it is off, but it is blatantly on.
The cat is making a lot of noise, which they then follow. The cat to his credit has done more in 5 minutes than Watson has ever done.
New Yvette has clearly stolen 1980s old Yvette's curly perm.
So there is a cat present that is meowing. So literally every noise they hear could be the cat. Could be a mouse the cat is chasing.
Karl is doing his usual "hear a noise, run back and forth" routine. Which gets boring quick.
Stuart has a K2 meter, which is completely useless. Stuarts K2 meter has gone off, and then gets Glen to confirm that Stuart's iPhone 6 is switched off, as if that is proof of ghosts. Despite the fact they have cameras on them, mic packs, walkie talkies, torches and so on. Stuart is convinced there is an energy with them. Yes it is the energy in those multiple electrical devices they have on them.
We then get a ridiculous scene of Glen asking the ghosts to make the K2 meters go to the red light.
Back with New and Old Yvette, and the smoke machine goes off again. Why they don't just unplug it I don't know.
Stuart and Glen are now walking outside and their K2 meters keep going off. They are baffled by this really basic technology.
I expect one of these chairs to move later. Pretty easy to set up with some fishing wire, and the cameras wont be able to pick up the wire so job done.
Everyone meets up again, and before you know it they have split up again. Karl and Stuart team up, so you know some shenanigans should occur soon.
Finally New Yvette is getting a bit more talkative, and while talking with Beardy, she refers to Karl as Dad! I am curious if New Yvette is "in on it".
Beardy reveals that New Yvette is the replacement for Fred. And they have a bit of flirty banter.
If you followed me on Twitter @TheBadPsych you would have heard me exclusively reveal that Fred and Karl had had a falling out. I wonder if they made up for Fred to appear in future episodes?
Stuart has found a ghost cup. Ok not a ghost cup, just a cup. But it might fly later if we are lucky.
The girls in the office hear a noise, the door opened a bit and they panic. They are more entertaining than the rest of the crew.
Of course the door opens OFF CAMERA. They hear another noise and panic even more, and the dark hair lady grabs the boob of the blond lady. Yes for real.
I've just got to that bit... I bet she felt a right tit! pic.twitter.com/5b5hWoD8Kj— Mye Opinions 🌐 (@MyeOpinions) January 11, 2019
As Dawn on Twitter @happydawn1 points out, there is a lot less screaming from the likes of Yvette which is a nice change.
Stuart is asking the ghosts to move something, then on cue a bike outside the door moves by itself.
Moving bikes! I'm glad Karl checked every room in the bungalow for real people. To be fair it was obviously the cat trying to take the bike for a spin! #MostHaunted pic.twitter.com/Sinf04wbMq— Mye Opinions 🌐 (@MyeOpinions) January 11, 2019
So how does it move? Someone in the hall simply moved it. That's the most obvious explanation.
I have watched it a few times and the bike looks like it is jerked. Most likely with string or something. When they run out, notice how they film away, most likely so the string can be removed. They are also conveniently not on camera themselves, and the audio may have been added later.
The way they film it, I believe Stuart is the one who did it.
Stuart and Karl are trying to convince each other it was a ghost and not Karl who moved the bike, meanwhile Beady and New Yvette are sat on the floor. Beardy clearly taking advantage of the sitting position.
New Yvette is just like Old Yvette and she gets scared by Beardy breathing.
Glen and Old Yvette are still looking at the laptop. Hopefully Glen has his secret folder behind a password.
Hmm a camera is set up to film the door, and low and behold just as the brown haired lady walks off camera the door swings open, almost as if someone pulled it open using a string hidden off camera.
Then, my new hero 'The Cat' was in such a strop about the bike, rushed into the bar for a nice pint of milk! #MostHaunted pic.twitter.com/1YZEbfaj9v— Mye Opinions 🌐 (@MyeOpinions) January 11, 2019
Of course the camera is set up in such a way as to not show the full length of the door.
The doors are clearly very light and swing very easily, so would not take much to do this.
My only issue here is that these girls do seem quite genuine, but the door clearly was pulled open, and it wasn't a ghost. So it had to be them, there is no other explanation.
Karl and Stuart are still talking about the bike.
@TheBadPsych— Ellis Moon (@theshadowplane) January 11, 2019
The bike moved backwards and to the right, so @realkarlbeattie points the camera everywhere but the direction the bike moved so as not to get Stuart in shot until he had chance to move.
Looks like Twitter thinks as I did with regards to how it was done.
Stuart and Karl are in the kitchen and there is a firm knocking which they suggest is coming from the door, but is probably Karl just knocking the table or another door OFF CAMERA.
Again they could simply set up a second camera filming both of them and instantly prove they were not behind the knocks.
I really am curious as to how anyone can believe that it is really a ghost?
Old Yvette and Glen are still at the laptop, listening to noises. They are taking it easy this evening it seems.
It is 22:23pm and I thought I would check to see if Most Haunted is trending on Twitter as you know Karl always like to claim it is, and clearly is is NOT trending. Remember Karl will always use the "Trends for you" and then screenshot that, that is NOT the same as UK Trends. Trends for you is literally trends that people who follow you are using, and of course people who follow Karl will be tweeting about Most Haunted.
Back with Karl and Stuart, and they wasting time with the K2 meters again.
Remember when in a previous As Live Karl used his walkie talkie to set off the meters. Just a clue as to how they do it.
Both of them on camera and suddenly everything goes very quiet. Strange that.
There is a noise and a door is closed OFF CAMERA while Stuart is filming in the dark at the sofa.
Suddenly Karl blatantly moves towards where Stuart is and kicks over a bike that is resting against the wall, he then moves back and claims he is at least 6 foot from it.
Absolutely. Karl clearly gets closer to the bike to push it over then moves back. #MostHaunted pic.twitter.com/hhy5YyDwuv— Mye Opinions 🌐 (@MyeOpinions) January 11, 2019
Karl and Stuart are now using the K2 meter to measure how haunted the house is.
They get bored and leave the little bungalow they were in and head back to the main building.
As the episode is nearly over, for some reason they are still filming in black and white despite the fact all of the lights are on.
The 2 ladies are describing their experience with the door opening. Yvette looks very suspicious. I wonder if they told her before hand what they were going to do.
Karl is describing his and Stuart's experiences and is finding it hard to keep a straight face as he tells his story of the bike moving.
They all finish telling their stories, and then describe where they will all go next. And with that the episode ends.
To be fair to them the episode did entertain, but perhaps I am blinkered since I have not seen an episode in a while.
New Yvette is an interesting addition to the show, Yes i know it is yet another family member, but she replaces Fred so that can only be good, plus they save money as they don't have to pay her.
The two ladies watching the cams, again they are something different so I like them. Also I highly doubt they were paid, so it is more free crew members.
The cat had some fun and made some noises.
Stuart and Karl made an effort and did some half decent fakery.
No Watson, again Watson is relegated and kept away.
More new people inevitably means more people to fake.
Still the same old same shit type of investigating.
K2 Meters are totally pointless. As are EVPs.
No cutlery or cups were thrown.
So overall there was more good than bad.
I will give this episode a strong 3 out of 10.
Review by Jon Donnis
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By Jon Donnis