25 October 2018
REVIEW: Most Haunted - Series 22 Episode 07 (25th October 2018) - Ancient High House in Stafford
I have been thinking, usually when they air episodes once a week, I have a whole week to dread having to write the review, at least with the episodes airing every night, I can get them out of the way nice and quickly, and when the series is done I can go back to being a normal human being, and not having to watch god awful fake TV, instead I can watch WWE Professional Wrestling and watch Giants fight Midgets. Now that is real life!
And with that here is some Blurbage I found on the foot of a Giant.
More ghoulish fun. The team are at the Ancient High House in Stafford which is said to be haunted by long-dead spirits. There, Gregg feels something is playing with him.
First of all this is not a two part episode! So that's a nice relief.
I suspect this episode will be another borefest sadly.
It is opening shots like this that makes me wish that someone like Kelly Brook was hosting this show. Now she would definitely bring in the ratings.
The lack of build up, "upcoming on" vignettes etc, is really making me think they will phone this episode in. So I am truly dreading watching this episode.
I will however do my best for you guys to make it vaguely entertaining.
4 minutes in and Glen has already arrived. I guess we gonna get a lot of chat now to fill time.
Already they are getting tapping and knocking. Glen correctly points out how creaky the wooden floor is, but this is dismissed by expert Yvette, and it is definitely ghosts, and not of the many many people present.
In the last episode we saw how Glen might approach a woman in a club to chat them up, well here we get to see him in mid chat up. Notice how the one leg is crossed over the ever, showing a powerful yet casual stance.
Yvette is now manhandling the rocking chair in the hope that the ghosts will repeat the knocking sound.
Some more knocks and the sound of a door closing OFF CAMERA.
Glen is doing his best to be skeptical, but is quickly shut down by Yvette.
The walk around is done after 10 minutes and the investigation proper begins as they pretend to turn off the lights.
Everyone is quickly split up into solo "vidguals".
The Ancient High House in Stafford is a museum, so a lot of mannequins which are always spooky, plus as a tourist location there has to be lots of stories made up to get the punters in.
As we go from person to person they are all making the same claims, footsteps, tapping and so on.
Also we are supposed to believe that each person has their own camera, and they are all investigating at the same time. THIS IS NOT TRUE. We know they at most have 3 cameras, sometimes only 2. So the idea they all have their own camera is nonsense. This will be filmed 2 at a time at most, and then all edited together to make it appear they are all investigating at the same time.
So at any point of filming, the rest of the crew will just be standing about possibly outside the room of the solo "Vidgual", so any knocks, noises, tapping etc, is easily put down to someone just outside.
Shame none of these have mechanical elements inside to make them move, that would be funny.
Yvette shows us her "O FACE".
Never felt sorry for Karl before.
Also she is hearing taps etc, you can also clearly hear other people talking, whether that is people outside on the street or others in the location. So the location is not controlled in any way.
We then get a reply showing the sound of a girl laughing, as I said the location is not controlled in any way.
The quick switching between people and then all of them saying they can hear knocks is getting boring quick.
Lets take their claims at face value, and say that they are all investigating in different rooms on their own. They would all be in adjacent rooms, they are all knocking and asking for ghosts to repeat it, they could literally just be hearing each other do that, any footsteps are just the person in the next room, any talking is just crew members taking a break, and woman's laugh could be Yvette or Lou or some random make up lady laughing.
This is NOT a serious investigation. And that is if you take their claims at face value, despite the fact we know they have lied by claiming everyone has their own camera and is investigating different rooms on their own.
So come on fans of Most Haunted, which is it? They are either lying about their investigations or they are hearing each other. This is no different to you being sat in your bedroom and a sibling being in the next room and you hear them move about, or you hear a parent come up their stairs. You MH fans are young, I get it, but you also cant be that stupid as to think ghosts are making these noises.
20 minutes in and I am going stir crazy. No Watson to amuse me, no Lou to shake her bum bag.
Also because they are in a museum, I highly doubt anything will be thrown since they would have been strictly told not to touch anything behind the barriers.
I am getting seriously frustrated now because they are making no effort to even pretend to be serious. They are claiming they can hear footsteps but those footsteps we know are just other crew members walking about in various rooms.
In one way you could say they are not faking anything, they are just being either incredibly ignorant, or knowingly ignorant of what is going on and then filming themselves looking all surprised and excited.
The solo "vidguals" are finally over and they have paired up.
"Is anyone there, knock once for yes, twice for no"
This whole episode is just taps and knocks, possibly the most lazy way of making a paranormal investigation spoof TV show.
Anyway if you follow me on Twitter you may have seen a rumour I exclusively revealed. Now I will repeat it here, but I will also make it very clear I have not confirmed this, so it is just an unfounded rumour, but it did come from a very reliable source (Most Haunted Mole). The rumour is that Karl Beattie and Fred Batt have had a bit of a falling out. Apparently Fred is a bit sick of it all, and has had enough, now for those in the know, Fred Batt pretty much bankrolls the whole show, he pays for everything, so without him there is no show. For now he is still involved, but the future is very uncertain, especially if Fred decides to leave. The money from UKTV is no where near enough to make episodes, which is why they do the live events, as that is where they make money. The future is uncertain.
While I wrote that various people heard knocks and taps. Nothing else happened.
30 minutes gone, and you can now clearly and quite loudly hear people outside on the street talking, shouting, playing etc.
Out comes the Ouija Board, or as Yvette called it "The Tapping Board".
These ghosts are so boring.
Ok so Yvette is gonna point at a letter and if the ghost taps then that will be the letter used to spell out the name. Seems like a hard way to do things.
For the record it is not an actual Ouija Board, it is a photo of one on Glen's laptop.
The ghost is spelling out the name WILLIAM, it always seems to be William.
We get a replay of what we are told is a child's cough, could be anything.
They are trying to talk to this ghost, but the subject matter is so tedious it makes me want to poke my eyes out with a fork.
Karl has literally pulled up the info on this person on his phone, and then Yvette is asking the ghost to confirm with taps, Karl could literally just be tapping his foot here since he already knows the answer.
Yvette gets excited after Fred confirms the various names that have been spelled out.
As this episode comes to an end. I am not sure what to say. I though the Ruthin Hall episode was the worst I had ever seen, this episode might be even worse.
"Knocking is my favourite thing" - Glen
Nothing is thrown in this episode. No one faints, no one falls, nothing happens. The episode is a failure.
I refuse to even give this episode a no score, it does not deserve it.
Episode Ends. Horrible.
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By Jon Donnis