I have finally managed to stop repeatedly poking myself in the eyes after watching last weeks episode, so while I have my sight, what better time than now to review the second part of the Beaumanor Hall "Investigation".
Since my review last week it has been pointed out to me that some people will read this review the same time they are watching the episode, as some kind of colourful walk-through. And that is something this idiot never even thought people would do. So I will keep that in mind from now on.
I write these reviews so that people don't have to watch, but if you are going to watch anyway, then yes why not read and watch at the same time.
With that said I open that bottle of "Natural Redhead Hair Colour", empty out its contents, and at the very bottom of the bottle is some small writing, oh look it is the blurb for this weeks episode.
"Spook-searching with Yvette Fielding and co! Still in Beaumanor Hall, Yvette and her team venture into the abyss of the cellars where the darkness suddenly seems to come to life."
Where as the entire Film Industry, TV Industry, even noobs on Youtube would use "Previously on...." Most Haunted have to be different and instead we get...
We are then reminded of the awfulness of last week's episode. Karl pressing the button on his walkie talkie to set off the EMF Meters, (Yes that is how he did it, go back and watch last week with headphones on, and you will hear the clicking the first time, and after he edits it out.)
Reminder of Yvette moaning, and people getting scared of nothing, as well as things only happening OFF CAMERA.
So before the investigation starts it is time for my weekly predictions.
1. There will be a carefully choreographed argument.
2. A door will slam by itself OFF CAMERA.
3. Something will be thrown OFF CAMERA.
4. There will be a ridiculously bad experiment that will make everyone roll their eyes.
5. Karl will perform a stunt.
Yvette is in a downstairs tunnel, very wide tunnel, a lot of damp and dust, reminds me of Karl's colonoscopy from last year. (Get yourself checked lads, no excuses any more.)
I do like Yvette's look here, it really does seem familiar.
Yvette and Glen are walking around the cellar area, Glen is not impressed at all. Yvette is doing her best to try and drum up some interest.
Glen is playing pocket billiards while looking Yvette straight in the eyes, I can only imagine the filth he has running through his mind right there.
Suddenly we jump to the investigation and Yvette is back with Karl, some poor pacing here. Yvette is hearing noises already. A squeaky door becomes a ghost talking.
While talking about noises Karl says...
"It's like everything is a couple of steps behind you"
Karl is literally stood a couple of steps behind Yvette as he says this.
I will take this as him admitting he is the cause of all the noises and things that will happen to Yvette this evening.
Picture in picture shots like this are often used to show that everyone is accounted for, yet seemingly it does not occur to any of the believers that firstly the super imposed picture has to be put on in post production, so could have been filmed at any time, not to mention they have numerous members of crew that never appear on camera.
Also someone asked me where Stuart was, and I can confirm that despite the rumours he is not in rehab, 100% definitely not in rehab, he is just on holiday.
Karl and Yvette are investigating a room, and suddenly Karl closes the door leaving Yvette on her own inside, which means that it is time for the carefully choreographed weekly argument.
Yvette is over-acting while Karl makes sure to film himself smirking and laughing to camera.
"Now I cant trust you" - Yvette Fielding.
Back with Glen, Fred etc and a door has slammed OFF CAMERA.
In the room with Yvette and Karl, and apparently some photos have moved by themselves, but as usual it was OFF CAMERA.
Yvette changes up the teams, and is going to conduct a Morse code table seance experiment thingy.
Glen says he can feel the table tremble, that will be because of the 3 of them touching the table, and the table being on an uneven floor.
Fred is doing his nonsense incantations.
Always helps the ghosts if the table has wheels on it. One of the old sayings of the SNU. (Spiritualists' National Union).
Glen has a Morse Code app on his phone, and that is on the table. I don't think it will pick up anything, mainly due to Karl not knowing Morse Code.
Glen types in a word and the phone app makes the noises in Morse Code.
If Glen was clever he would have pre-programmed it to say "This show is bollocks" in Morse Code.
As Fred is spouting his crap, Darren says there was a ghost behind him, of course nothing is caught on camera.
As the phone is repeatedly making noises on the table, Yvette says she can feel the table moving, vibrating etc. Yes that would be the phone love, it is literally right in front of you.
The phone is face up, and guess where the speaker is on the phone? Yes it is on the side touching the table.
Ok the whole table gimmick is getting boring now, and the noise from the Morse Code app is annoying as hell.
Darren has decided to bugger off on his own and leave Fred behind.
The phone is still beeping out "Hello" in Morse Code. At last they stop it. Thank god for that.
Ok they are waiting for the ghosts to tap, but hang on a second, Glen is imputing the taps to the phone himself, it is not picking up the taps automatically.
The audio feed is not picking up any taps, so this whole "experiment" is a shambles.
Darren is now running away and hiding from Fred. Not the first time someone has done that I am sure.
Darren and Fred then have a choreographed argument, did no one tell them that Yvette and Karl had already done one?
Glen is still desperately trying to get something out of this Morse Code nonsense.
Hilariously they are talking in Morse Code to the ghosts, and then asking the ghosts to reply with "1 tap for yes, 2 for no".
It is a good job this is all self funded, could you imagine anyone actually paying people to output this nonsense?
Darren and Fred are now doing a ridiculous over the top Benny Hill scene, running away from each other.
This is bad TV, whoever thought this should make the final cut is an idiot. Did Karl really thing this was funny? I know the MH fans are a bit dim, but even they are not so stupid as to find that nonsense entertaining.
Back with Glen and somehow he has come up with the name Eric Topple and 1943. Keep in mind that we cannot hear any tapping, we cannot hear any Morse Code from the ghosts at all.
Of course the name and date match, this was about as blatant a set up as they have ever done. At least Derek Acorah put some effort into names he came up with, this is just blatant bullshit. And then you realise that the ghost is not even talking in Morse Code, Glen is just pointing to the Letters/Numbers on the phone screen and then the ghost (Karl) is tapping. This whole thing is a joke. And despite the obvious fakery, lack of controls etc, the pretend skeptic, Glen, claims to be very impressed.
Here is how you instantly debunk this.
Get a nice big iPad, bring up the keyboard, turn the iPad upside down, blindfold everyone present, and whoever is in charge move their finger across the keyboard, and with no one else able to see the keyboard, press the screen when you hear a tap. When you finish, turn the iPad over and see what was written, I guarantee you, much like how Ouija Boards don't work when people are blindfolded, neither will this nonsense gimmick.
The teams get split up and changed again, Karl is on his own, Glen is with Fred, Darren is with Yvette and Greg.
In Yvette's group, there is a noise, and something has been thrown OFF CAMERA.
Just 10 minutes left, so not long to go guys.
Yvette and the lads are hearing noises again.
Karl is on his own, and hearing noises too, I suspect he has something in mind here, some kind of stunt.
Then bizarrely after one of the lads (maybe Greg?) knocks a table, Yvette says that people have edited videos of her on Youtube that show her knocking the table when it is supposed to be a ghost, and that is why she doesn't knock tables any more so she cant be edited. Now I have never heard of this happening, or seen any videos showing this. I have seen her get caught kicking a table in a Most Haunted Live show, I have seen her faking ghost noises when she thought she wasn't on camera. And whenever anything like this happens, I always direct people to watch official footage direct from the UKTV site, as well as any clip I put on here.
So if anyone has any idea what exactly she is referencing here, please do let me know. The last thing I want is people faking stuff to make them look like they have faked something. We can catch them cheating for real.
I hope Glen doesn't see how close Yvette and Greg are getting here.
With Glen and Fred now and something has been thrown OFF CAMERA. They go off to investigate.
Karl is still begging for something to be moved in the room he is in.
Right at exactly 40 minutes, listen to the audio, right as Karl sighs, the audio is cut and then replaced with Karl talking, then a noise is heard in the other room, he goes to look, then another noise and when he returns a metal container has magically been moved to the middle of the room.
I have re-watched the scene a few times, there is no edit in the footage itself, so everything happens in real time, but the audio has been edited.
So here is how it is done.
As soon as you hear him say.
"You're making sounds, not moving anything"
Then he sighs and the audio is edited right after that, so the new audio will have him sighing on, and then that is merged into the original sound file, and that helps cover up the audio switch. During this segment Karl will not film himself talking like he usually does, as that would give the game away.
Then just after Karl says.
"Whatever the bloody hell they are called"
The camera pans up slightly and stays in one place, at this moment Karl moves the metal container with his free hand. Then there is a noise in the other room, he carefully turns while pointing the camera upwards so he doesn't get the metal container in shot, moves to the other room, and then comes back to see the container he moved now in shot.
At 40m 50s, the audio then is switched back to the original recording. Right after Karl says "That's right in the middle of the floor now."
It is all quite well done, but the audio really gives it away.
Here is how he would do it.
Film the scene first.
Here is how he would do it.
Film the scene first.
Then while watching the scene back, record audio of him reacting, that matches the scene he has just shot. Edit in the audio in post production. And job done.
I must admit I prefer fakery like this, than splicing two videos into one. But sorry Karl you can't get anything past me.
And as usual I don't want anyone to just take my word on this, go to the UKTV website, watch the episode on catch-up, or even as it airs this Friday, put your headphones on while you watch, and you should be able to hear the audio edit.
Karl then tries to prove that there is no one else there, hears another noise OFF CAMERA, but nothing has been moved, and then we go back to Yvette.
Quickly back to Karl who is now filming his own face. Note how he never filmed himself at all during the 50 second audio edit.
And the episode then ends.
Now last weeks episode I gave a negative score and called it the worst episode ever, this weeks episode was much better, still awful, but better. Karl made an effort to fool us, and I appreciate that, as recording extra audio to then edit in takes time, and effort, and if he was better at editing audio, then perhaps he could have got it past me, but alas he couldn't so it is another goal for the good guys at BadPsychics.
So I will give this episode a 3 out of 10.
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By Jon Donnis
Yvette is acting very suspiciously with her mobile phone near the end of this episode; in her scenes which are interspersed with those of Karl’s shenanigans with the metal washing tubs. Two scenes in particular stand out:
The first begins with her calling out for the spirits to make a noise. Her arms are folded behind her back when she claims to hear a sound behind the cameraman. The normal reaction in this situation would be to look in the direction of the sound to try to discover its cause, but Yvette just keeps watching the cameraman like a hawk. The instant he turns the camera around to investigate she is caught quickly swinging her right hand forward, and in it is revealed her mobile phone. It is at this precise moment that the sound of the clinking chain is heard. Hilariously, Yvette is claiming not to have heard anything, despite the fact that it is the loudest and clearest sound yet captured by the group.
In the other scene her team have gathered around a table which holds several objects including an old telephone and a bell. They have heard clicking noises coming from this direction. Yvette is holding the face of her phone toward her and you can clearly see a repeating flash emitting from it against her leg. I may be mistaken, but this looks like the phone’s camera autofocus beam struggling to focus. Remember the team have been claiming to hear clicking noises, so the camera shutter sound effect would fit the bill nicely. Next, the cameraman distinctly taps twice on the camera body at which Yvette points in the opposite direction claiming the noise came from there, and then she aggressively makes up Darren's mind for him into agreeing with her; because one witness is just suggestion but two is proof.
And in between these two scenes we witness Karl momentarily possessed by the disgusted disembodied spirits of his viewers and he is forced to blurt out, “It’s just garbage isn’t it. That’s just garbage…”
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