Usually I hate reviewing Most Haunted, I dread the thought of having to sit down and waste a couple of hours of my life watching the episode, taking screen grabs, repeating the words (that I invented) "OFF CAMERA" seemingly endless times, and that is why I never bothered to go back and review the Series 20 episodes that aired night after night around Halloween time. But after watching the first ever episode of Most Haunted a few days ago, it peaked my interest once again. And after checking and being impressed by how many people read that review, I find myself with sodall else to do, so why not review episode 2 and keep the momentum going.
Most Haunted truly was so much better with Derek Acorah on the show, and because it was all so long ago, I know that I will be surprised to see the ridiculous things he gets up to. So with that said, I went and started digging in Yvette Fielding's lady garden, and deep beneath the thick bramble bushes, I found some blurb, dry, flaky blurb, but it was still readable, so here is the blurb for episode 2 of Most Haunted.
"Most Haunted travels to Northumberland to reputedly the most haunted castle in England. Will they make contact with the famed Blue Boy? Derek contacts a former resident, a hissing noise frightens the crew and a box moves by itself."
Yvette is all in black again and with leather trousers on, very sexy, although this is the start of her ridiculous hair cuts that seem to change every week. I prefer her hair last week.
Seeing how Yvette was the "hotty" of the early series, it then makes it easier to understand why in later series the likes of Mel Crump would get chased off the show.
Yvette then introduces us to the crew, a mixture of family members and close friends.
NO! NO Jason Karl, it is NOT ever acceptable for a man to weather leather trousers. It is ok for Yvette, in 2002 she had smooth shaven legs, the trousers hug her figure, they improve her look. But for a man, you look ridiculous. You look like you should be in the Blue Oyster Bar. So I am docking you 15 internet points for this HUGE fashion faux par.
Yvette announces that there is one last member of the team to join them.
"A man who can talk to the dead"
Wow that sounds impressive, we then get introduced to Derek Acorah, and again reminded that he does not know where he is investigating that evening.
Yvette goes on a tour with some old posh geezer who is something to do with the Castle, sorry I didn't catch his title as I was fascinated by a dog that appears on the screen.
So in just two episodes we have now seen two dogs, this dog is called Billy.
Chillingham Castle really is a beautiful location, and they also have some appartments that they rent out, and of course they are "haunted rooms", so we need to be aware that as is nearly always the case with these locations, they rely on tourism, so they NEED the place to be recognised as "Haunted"
Derek Acorah arrives and gives Yvette a HUGE hug! You wouldn't get that today.
As Derek is looking around, Rick Fielding suddenly starts feeling faint. Now if you recall he had a funny turn in episode 1 as well, so we are already seeing a pattern develop here. So Rick is clearly putting this on as part of the show, now whether he is directed to do this by Karl or he is just doing this off his own back I don't know. But it does go to show that they were faking incidents right from the start.
Derek comforts Rick and all is fine after Derek asks the ghost to step away as she is affecting Rick.
Jason Karl has his usual incredulous look. Where as in 2017 Glen constantly looks smug, Jason Karl is unable to hide his real thoughts. Good for you Jason, even with your stupid leather trousers on.
Derek comes up with the name "Mary", Yvette asks Jason if he can confirm the name. Which he does. It is funny how serious they take this, as if Derek really is talking to some dead spirit.
Derek really is quite a good actor, well if the character he is playing is that of a crazy psychic who is convinced they can talk to the dead.
Ironically, in the business if you break character it is known as "corpsing", that being when you laugh when you are not supposed to etc, yet Derek never breaks character. Well not when he knows he is being filmed anyway, I remind you of the "Mary loves Dick" scene from a Most Haunted Live to see one of the very few examples of Derek "corpsing" when he assumes the camera feed has cut.
Remember last episode when we had everyone sat around the fire chatting, sharing ghost stories and then Derek got possessed by a monkey? Well this episode everyone is sat around a nice big table eating, and laughing.
People laughing, enjoying the experience, Derek sat next to his wife Gwen (a real life close personal friend of mine by the way). Now everyone hates each other.
As expected Yvette sees something walk past the window outside, and then Jason goes to investigate after they put the green filter on.
They find nothing, so the show then moves on.
We are told again that no one has told Derek about anything to do with Chillingham Castle. Suddenly there is a hissing noise that could be anyone, Yvette panics and everyone runs out of the hallway.
The make up lady Marcella is absolutely petrified and doesn't want to continue.
You would think that being one half of the Wild Samoans the WWE Hall of Fame Tag Team, that she wouldn't be so scared of a few ghosts.
Things have calmed down and Derek is talking to Lady Mary Berkley.
Some great acting by Derek here. Not great "possessed monkey" great, but still decent.
Look at the evil in Derek's eyes! Maybe the monkey has returned?
Derek has started to get confused and disorientated, guessing he had a few whiskeys before he started and they have started to kick in.
He also claims to be seeing "pink", he then says he is drawn to the pink!! Aren't we all Derek, Aren't we all.....
Derek then gets possessed, and it is hilarious, I had forgot how he would just be mid sentence and then get possessed. After about 15 seconds, Sam helps him regain his composure. (But not his dignity, the ghost monkey still has that)
Derek is telling stories, and Jason Karl is either confirming or denying them. Nothing of actual importance here sadly, as the episode hits a dull spot.
With Derek not playing, we cut to Karl who has gone off to "investigate" on his own.
There is then a noise OFF CAMERA, which kinda sounds like Karl dropping something. We then see a basket that is right next to where Karl's left hand would be move a couple of inches, Karl panics and runs out of the room. Again people claim the show was honest in the first season, but knowing what you know now, especially about Karl and how he has been caught cheating so many times, it becomes very obvious he is behind this. He knows exactly what is being filmed, he is the only person present, so makes sense he just nudges something and then reacts.
Back to Derek and he is talking about some ghost he been chatting to, Derek informs us that he has a 4 poster bed at home (lucky Gwen), and that the ghost is showing him a 4 poster bed.
Here is a photo of Derek Acorah in bed with Karthik, the monobrow star of The Apprentice.
Yvette is feeling a strong cold draft. Jason Karl has a laser thermometer thingy, and he states that the temperature is normal and has not changed. Yvette tells him to stand where she is, he does and he feels nothing.
Look at the state of Karl here.
Yvette in voice over talks about how some of their still photos when analysed showed a lot of orbs, she then said that "Independent Vision Engineers" had confirmed that this was NOT caused by dust or reflected light. Yes she has really claimed that.
I am curious as to who these "Independent Vision Engineers" actually were? Since clearly the orbs are in fact a mixture of dust, air particles and moisture that are too close to the camera and out of the focal range of the lens. Guess that makes me an "Expert Independent Vision Engineer".
With bold claims like this by Yvette, which are downright lies, you can understand why we ended up with an entire generation of idiotic ghost hunters claiming orbs were paranormal. If you have ever published a photo of an orb and claimed it was something paranormal, then hold your head in shame, now and forever.
Yvette takes Derek to the dungeon. Something that in 2017 I know that Glen dreams of, being taken to Yvette's dungeon, tied up, and whipped while wearing his favourite gimp suit and a ball gag in his mouth. One day the photos will leak I am sure.
Nothing happens in the dungeon and we move onto the end of episode summary clips.
Again Jason Karl pours scorn on everything that happened, and Derek claims everything was paranormal, so a nice difference between beliefs and personalities there.
A final shot of the crew sat on some steps, and we are done.
I give this episode a decent 6/10.
Not as good as episode 1, but then hard to beat a ghost monkey possessing Derek Acorah.
If you enjoyed this review and would like me to continue to review the old episodes let me know in the comments. If you don't then I wont.
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By Jon Donnis