22 June 2015

EXCLUSIVE REVIEW: Most Haunted S02E06 (Wentworth Wood House Part 1)

After the clusterf*ck that was my Episode 5 review, I was so close to just deleting everything Most Haunted related from the site, but alas here I am once again sat in front of the computer, watching this decaying horse corpse nonsense people like to call Most Haunted.

Seriously this is the absolute lowest form of entertainment. Just think about it for a moment, it is a pretend investigation into something that doesn't exist in the first place. At least Pro Wrestling is pretending to be an actual thing, and you have to have charisma, athleticism and a good body to be a star. Most Haunted is copying something that isn't real in the first place, and we are idiots for watching it! And what's worse than that, it is not even entertaining, the only entertaining person ever on the show was Derek Acorah, and even the so called Skeptics on the show were all being directed by Karl Beattie. Anyway the official blurb is below.

Thursday 9th July, 10pm
S2E6/10. Wentworth Wood House Part 1
Really’s terrifying series continues with Yvette Fielding and the team heading to Wentworth Woodhouse, the largest privately owned house in Great Britain. The paranormal activity is said to range from reports of a headless ghost on the stairs, to the echoes of children laughing and whispering, and even an operatic singing voice being heard. Yvette has a strange feeling they're being followed while Karl and Stuart experience something like never before.

Right, let me just double check this isn't me watching episode 4 again? Nope, it is definitely episode 6 due to air in the UK on 9th July. How sad is it that it took me 20 minutes to realise I had already seen it, just goes to show how repetitive and tedious Most Haunted is.

I really hope Leah Walton is back, after going missing, I can only think the worst for her.

As always skip the first 5 minutes unless you get off on nonsense waffle about and old building, purely designed to precondition the view into believing the rubbish you will see later on.

Do watch out for this guy, who for his entire interview does not blink once! Seriously, his eyes are like that all the time, claims he has seen ghosties and so on, I think it's a different kind of spirit he has been looking at.

We get the early interview with the King of Smirks, The Smirkster, Mr Smirktacular himself Glen Hunt. I have to admit early on I didn't like him, he was being advertised as the resident Skeptic, when in reality he is just some crappy local radio DJ desperate to get on TV, HOWEVER his smirking skills have kind of won me over. We are talking 24/7/365 for this guy.

I heard a rumour that he got fired from his previous job as a funeral director, I guess there comes a time when smirking in public really isn't acceptable. While talking to Yvette he asks a good question regarding the "headless" ghost that walks the halls of Wentworth Wood House, he asks why a headless man would walk down stairs. Yvette does her best to answer, but fact is if ghosts were real, (they are not), a headless one has no reason to walk down stairs. I've always wondered how it is that ghosts can walk on the floor, make footstep noises, yet cant move a physical object on command in a controlled setting! Perhaps the answer is that GHOSTS DO NOT EXIST YOU PATHETIC STUPID CHILD!

Anyway more Glen, Yvette and Mr Moneybags Fred Batt are wondering about, this is the part where Fred gets his contracted few minutes to promote himself and talk a load of crap. Surely Fred realises that Karl and Yvette are only using him for his money. Maybe he does understand that but justifies it by getting himself on TV?

Stuart checks the floor for signs of ghost termites
Anyway the cameras have their little green filters added, Yvette pretends that it is now dark. A shiny bald head of Stuart is now with them. No sign of Leah at all, so guessing she is done with the show, She managed a mighty 3 episodes! Poor girl!

21 minutes in and we get our first ridiculous scream from Yvette after she hears her own sweaty fart and thinks it was a ghost. With all her layers on, that smell will surely escape after a few minutes.

Yvette starts to talk to the ghosts that do not exist, I hope she tells them to make a noise with their voice. Still the dumbest thing anyone has ever said.

24 minutes in and I am now officially bored shitless, although as Yvette starts singing out in the hope that the ghosts will reply to her, it kinda looked like Stuart had entered her.

Nothing much is happening, Karl keeps trying to claim the ghosts are making knocking noise, while suspiciously moving his leg up and down!

Glen is really wishing he had worn a coat, and that brings us to this weeks COATWATCH! As you can see from the above image, we have the idiot hipster in some weird coat, Yvette in her classic Fart Capturer coat, and Fred in his Tweed moneybags coat.

Not sure if it is cause he is so cold, or he just likes to play with himself, but Glen Hunt constantly has his hands in his pockets.

There is a quite funny sequence of events whereby Karl and Stuart are in a room, and doors keep slamming shut whenever the camera is not pointing at them, and the doors have no handles, and are now locked and they cant get out! Just imagine the idiots at home lapping this all up. Remember folks, health and safety rules TV! That's another way you know it is all faked.

I have to say this is a rather poor episode. 36 minutes in and other than a couple of doors closing, nothing has happened. The lack of Leah Walton is glaring once again, But we all know Yvette has to be centre of attention, and since everyone liked Leah, it was only a matter of time before she had to go.

That awkward moment when it is supposed to be 
pitch black & they show Stuart filming with his light on

Yvette offers the ghost child some sweets in a rather disturbing way, Jimmy Saville must be wanting his gimmick back.

With us reaching the end of the episode, some small piece of concrete or something is thrown, OFF CAMERA of course. Glen is smirking.

Eammon is back with his laptop and other electronic nonsense. I am sure I could hear Ruth spinning in her grave.

Another thing is thrown, this time I would guess it was the hipster who is joining in on the silly-ness.

Karl Beattie tries out a new pose

Glen tries out a new type of Smirk

And with that we get some "next time on Most Haunted" clips, which make you wonder why none of that wasn't included on this episode.

Overall a terrible terrible episode. Only Glen Hunt and his perpetual smirking kept me interested.

Until next time. Sleep tight, because you have no reason not to, as THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS GHOSTS!!

By Jon Donnis

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I didn't realise this show has started again. But thank god (who also doesn't exist) that it is. The main reason; that these reviews are back.

I love every word that is written for these. I seriously only watch the programme so that I can read these

Brilliant work as usual. Looking forward to part 2 now :)

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